20 Signs of Unhealthy Boundaries

  1. Telling all or talking at an intimate level on the first meeting; confiding details about your personal life to a stranger or non-intimate person.

  2. Asking intrusive questions; minding other people’s business.

  3. Falling in love with a new acquaintance or anyone who gives you attention.

  4. Violating personal standards or values to please another person.

  5. Touching people without asking or allowing them to touch you without asking.  

  6. Being sexual when you don’t want to be or demanding that someone else be sexual when they don’t want to be.

  7. Taking something from another person without asking or before they have time to give permission.

  8. Accepting food, gifts, affection, advice, suggestions you don’t want and giving unsolicited help, affection, advice, or suggestions to others.  

  9. Hinting, whining, or complaining instead of asking; demanding instead of asking.

  10. Trying to run other people’s lives; letting them take charge of yours.

  11. Expecting a partner to make you feel needed, important, loved, or worthwhile and visa versa.

  12. Feigning helplessness so someone will take care of you.

  13. Believing that others can and should anticipate your needs and fill them automatically; anticipating other people’s needs and fulfilling them before they ask.

  14. Insisting that other people do things your way.  

  15. Physical, sexual, emotional, intellectual, or spiritual abuse of yourself or others.

  16. Trying to control other people’s reality (appearance, feelings, thoughts, or actions) or allowing them to dictate yours.

  17. Letting someone else’s mood affect yours.

  18. Being embarrassed in someone else’s behalf.

  19. Hearing something being said to another person or about another person, taking it in, making it about yourself, and then over-reacting.

  20. Not noticing or objecting when someone invades your boundaries and not standing up or speaking up when someone vulnerable is being violated.


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